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Talk:Herobrine/@comment-3541151-20150411035130
This critique a part of my comedic critiques series. Which you can view HERE Welcome, Fellow Critics! I understand that, while the Lost Episode pastas are stupid, PAINFULLY PAINFULLY so, that there is an APPEAL to them. The idea of contributing creative supernatural elements to entertainment we all know, love and relate to. In that light, I do see where these seem like smart stories. However, as I've explained in Pearl.avi, that immersion is ruined by the fact that the subject matter is lighthearted entertainment, and that the stories are cliche bombs, anyway. Another genre of pasta has the disadvantage of the Lost Episode genre, The Video Game pastas! Even if it is only two stories, it's a genre in my eyes. Ben, sorry! BEN! Can't forget the capital letters! BEN Drowned and Herobrine both have strong similarities. Both focus on a strange haunting in the video game world. Both have distortions in the game due to the haunting, and both have the spirit being "mysterious". Today I'm talking about Herobrine, because BEN Drowned is too goddamn long, and too goddamn stupid! And he drowned while being vain I'm sure, just look at how he writes his name! The main character is a Minecraft playe-oh! I better get this out of the way, I've NEVER played Minecraft! I don't know, it honestly just doesn't appeal to me. It seems boring and time wasting, like the Seven Dwarfs version of The Sims. You spend your life mining and avoiding. Yeah, just the first four words of that sentence scares me away, "YOU SPEND YOUR LIFE" It's like the Seven Dwarfs version of World of War-OW! Okay! Back to the review! My point is, I'm ignorant of the game and I refuse to look up info regarding the Minecraft references, so I'm retelling the story in my own words. Feel free to troll my idiocy regarding Minecraft! The story begins with the perspective of a player of Minecraft, as he sees a player without a username in what he calls "Single Player Mode". God, I feel like an old man. "What is this fancy Singular Player Mode?" He follows the mystery user, but it remains out of sight and disappears. The Main Character is left dumbstruck and decides to investigate. You know, this storytelling wouldn't seem so bad, if it WASN'T A FUCKING VIDEO GAME! There is NO WAY to immerse yourself in the character's experience as he is only "experiencing" this stuff IN GAME. I find myself just feeling THIS WAY about the character's exploits. But regardless, back to them. He makes blogposts asking the other Minecraft players if they had seen this mysterious character, all of which are deleted within minutes. Wouldn't it be cool if someone like THIS responded. If a famous Minecraft player saw a ghost?! That would be, hmmm... Did I just spoil it? No, no! That would be too predictable! The Character gets a PM on his Minecraft game, STOP LAUGHING AT ME. Try referencing a game you never played, some time! He gets a PM on Minecraft from a user named Herobrine, that simply reads "Stop". Wow, the supernatural forces sure are creative. If Herobrine doesn't want attention, why did he go to the trouble of antagonizing the player? He's like a moody Facebook user that doesn't want feedback. The Character clicks Herobrine's username only to get "404'd". Shortly after, he gets an email from an actual user who saw his blogposts. Apparently the same phenomenon happened to him and some other Mineraft users. He explains that they tracked the name Herobrine to the brother of the Minecraft creator, Notch. I did some research myself on the name. Most searches alluded to this Creepypasta, but Urban Dictionary had this definition. Nice job, Author. The character then emails Notch asking him about his brother. After a gap of time Notch gives the character a heartfelt response. It's considerably shorter than Ben Bocquelet's in The Grieving. It explains that he had one, but that he is no longer with them. What?! It WAS ghosts?! Predictable piece of __________ Also a little late, our main character admits that he took a picture upon seeing the mysterious Herobrine. Okay! That's realistic! No cliches here! As I conclude my Critique, I have a confession, I was a fan of Herobrine's character prior to reading this Crappypasta. That's why I stress I know what writers see in the concept, but all my points about the originating story reign true. Same for my friend EmpyrealInvective who liked Jeff the Killer's character prior to reading it. An Interesting Concept DOES NOT make a story! Like I said, I know what the author was going for, but the final product is atrocious. The writing isn't that bad, but it's bland and short lived all the same. The the logic is terrible, Notch himself has denied the Creepypasta's claims. It's a cheap scare tactic for people that take Minecraft too seriously. 4/10